Being a Christian can be hard these days, never mind being a Christian parent. However, it’s also a great privilege! If you’re someone who wants to raise a godly generation, it can feel like a long haul. Let’s be honest, even when kids turn 18, they’re still our children. They will always be such in our heart and the burden for their lives will go until we’re no longer here. Personally, when I look at the world I grew up in, sure it was hard but it’s nothing compared to today. I genuinely want my children to grow up in a world where they’re free and safe to ask questions, able to see my husband and I as adults who walk with Christ, and able to walk in wisdom even from a young age. To help you, I’ve put together 9 principles to incorporate as a parent so you can raise your children in a home that honors God. Raising godly kids requires understanding and learning what the Bible says about parenting.
1. Pray for Your Family Everyday
Prayer holds great significance. I highly recommend dedicating moments each day to pray for your family. You can offer individual prayers for each member as well as collective ones for your entire family. Invite the Holy Spirit to be in your home, with your family, and trust that He will do so. Often times as busy parents, we think that our own prayer lives are sufficient. It’s a great start but our children should see us pray as an example of how we live our lives and how we navigate the trials of life. It should not be a secret nor a hidden activity only.
You should instill the practice of prayer in your family. By praying together, you not only strengthen your bond but also create relationships that can thrive.
2. Establish Godly Family Traditions
Creating traditions is crucial for nurturing both identity and connection. While it’s perfectly fine to enjoy lighthearted traditions, it’s extremely important to establish traditions that honor your faith. I suggest aiming for practices that directly focus on Christ and upholding biblical principles. Godly parenting embraces family traditions and will not only significantly enhance your family life but also fortify your commitment to Christian values.
For our family, we really take our time at Christmas to honor Christ. Of course, we know many say this is not his real birthday but that’s totally fine. We want to make sure Christmas isn’t more about Santa Claus and gifts than it is about Christ and what he did. When we have Christmas, it’s a moment for us to show gratitude for what God is doing in our lives and share that testimony with our children – especially at a young age. They will have their favorite holiday imprinted with the story of Christ, not just gifts.
3. Show Interest in each of Your Children and Their Interests
It’s vital that you take the time to understand each of your children on a deep level. Every child possesses their own exceptional and distinct qualities. I know my oldest one has the fire of yours truly (what can I say, I was a hand full) and the gentle wisdom of her father. Much like your children, whether you have them today or not, they harbor individual skills and talents, absorb information, and react to encouragement and correction in different ways, especially for little children.
I highly recommend you create an interest in their passions to build stronger connections and engage in meaningful conversations to uncover their needs and preferences. The knowledge you gain will help equip you to provide adequate support whenever any challenges arise.
As mentioned previously, our children perceive things differently because they’re their own individuals. This includes love! I highly suggest looking up the different love languages that children have. This will help you determine the love language your child has and why it’s crucial. You will find some want to hear how incredible, smart and brave they are while others really just want your attention and time on a quiet couch. It’s good to note that bad behavior may just be a result of your child not feeling loved. A wise parent will learn to love her children well.
4. Teach Your Children to Choose Their Friends Wisely
Of course, you want your child to be a good friend, but at the same time, you want them to know how to choose their friends and choose them wisely. A child can easily be influenced by their peers, whether good or bad, so it’s important to stress to them that making godly friendships is essential for guiding them towards virtuous actions. It’s important that your child’s closest friends share the same beliefs and their Christian faith, as this will contribute to their growth and alignment with positive values.
One thing I strongly believe in is giving your child privacy and space to become their own person. This does not mean you let them roam a dangerous world without oversight. Instead, as my children age, I plan to always invite their friends into our home first before we allow our child to go out into the world with them. This allows us to see who these children are and hopefully have a positive impact on them as well.
5. Have Open Conversations with Your Children
It’s essential that your children know you’re a safe person to talk to so you can have open conversations with them. Yes, this includes everything from their future to the tough topics like relationships. You can sit in your house or take them to another comfortable place like the park. You first want to ensure that they feel comfortable discussing any challenging topics, especially as they grow older. I can’t stress enough that responding with love is crucial, even when you hold a different opinion. Transform these moments into discussions rather than condemnations.
I remember I had gone off to college as a freshman or sophomore and decided to come back home and visit my parents. They took me out to dinner which was usual. I was sharing all of my college experiences and began to share a lesson from a teacher which debated the construct of “the truth vs. a truth.” I sat there passionately proclaiming that there is no truth and everything is subjective. Hilariously enough, I still remember sitting there and looking at my mother’s patient eyes which remind me of Claire Huxtable as she crunched into another chip allowing me to finish. After I was finished completely deconstructing the idea of truth, my family simply shared the Bible with me. “If there is no truth, we conflict with the Bible and who we say Christ is.” It placed me at a crossroads. Do I believe Christ to be the truth as a John 14 says? My point is that you don’t have to beat your child over the head in conversation, you simply have to share truth with them in a patient and wisdom-filled way.
Maintaining an environment of openness is of the most significant importance. When your children makes the wrong choices, continuing to nurture the relationship you have with each other is the most effective approach. Sustaining this connection enables you to show the redemptive grace of God. This involves addressing subjects like sex from an early stage as well due to our sex-saturated society. I suggest surrounding conversations about their bodies, guidelines for personal safety, and age-appropriate dialogues about the divine purpose of intimacy. This shall teach them diligently the importance of the topic. Given the likelihood of early exposure to sex or explicit content, most parents also teach their children about online safety.
6. Play Scriptural Music
I don’t mean only Christian songs! It’s not a bad idea to also play songs that are entirely grounded in Bible verses. This practice will aid them after they’ve read the Bible; it will help them memorize God’s Word from a young age. I’d be happy to share some of our favorite songs if you contact me.
7. Stay Consistent
I understand that this can pose a challenge for some because it was one aspect that was challenging for me! This is one that could be a challenge for you, too. However, staying consistent is vital for nurturing positive behavior in the grand scheme of things. Though it may require substantial effort to instill strong virtues in your child, the rewards will be significant over time.
Equally vital is being deliberate about how you spend your time. Your family is an incredible gift, yet effectively connecting with your children’s hearts demands purposeful action.
8. Choose Core Values to Invest In
It’s important to choose the core values you want to invest in and stick to them. Ask yourself, which values do you want to hold significant within your family unit? It’s important that you engage in discussions with your significant other and allow the values to guide your choices. As parents of faith, individually dedicating time to God as well as a family should take precedence; this remains among the most effective methods to raise children grounded in godliness.
However, I would like to add that other priorities will differ among families. How do you plan to extend help to others? Could it be through contributing to a local food distribution center or practicing hospitality? Would homeschooling align more with your priorities? Additionally, how do you intend to nurture spiritual growth and relationships within the community of believers?
9. Bring counsel from those you trust
You don’t have to do it alone. Seek the counsel of other godly people you trust and ask them to pour into your children when they’re around. My husband plays basketball with a young kid in high school and while they hang out more for the basketball, they get a few moments in the car to discuss school, life, and his future. This is all of course with the permission of the child’s parents. That’s all it takes though.. just a few minutes to help a child correct their mindset before they set out on a path that will alter their future. Find people like this in your life who are either around your child at church, in the neighborhood or for family dinners.
No matter what your reason is, Christian parenting is worth striving for. It’s worth looking outside of the box, scribbling outside of the lines in order to find a path thats true to what you believe and what you want for your family and little ones. Over the coming weeks, I will share more homeschooling resources. Don’t let the big H word scare you though – homeschooling doesn’t have to be frightening, full of pressure nor one size fits all. Wishing you well as you implement these christian principles for your family.
