In 2015, when Ike asked me to marry him, we were young adults who had just settled into life in Dallas. The thought of continuing our journey as a couple was truthfully the only thing I wanted. We had initially met in a small town north of Houston and after moving, committed to traveling 50 minutes one way just to spend time together most days. It was a small price to pay in order to at least continue to see each other despite living across the metroplex at the time. I can clearly remember all of the days I’d leave work at 5:00 sharp just to hop in my car and rush to meet him at the gym an hour away (thanks traffic). Gym time became our time. I know what you’re thinking, “gross! Is this some sick joke of a story?” No, it’s not. The gym became a place we could meet after a long day and despite the commute time we could have time alone. We’d work out, sit in our car eating a post gym meal, finish the night with a warm kiss and commute home for another 50 minutes – everyday. Needless to say, while I wasn’t in love with the gym (I mean I was showing up to see my boyfriend in full transparency), the gym helped me look the best I’ve looked in my entire life. After only three months in the gym, everyone was noticing. Even I was stopping to take a smirking look in the mirror after a shower.
When Ike proposed, I was just sitting under 140 lbs which for me meant I looked killer under fluorescent lighting. Don’t cringe. That’s not my story now but I’ll happily still do a little shimmy under the lights if I’m feeling good. The ring sat perfectly on my finger and stayed on even when I was working, lifting weights, showering, everything.
After we married, we moved into a cute in-city loft near work and most importantly we were together. No 50 minute commute across town just to keep things going and get some time together. I’ll get straight to the point: I didn’t keep my physical fitness in sight. In fact, I started to embrace Chips Ahoy cookies and a Dr. Pepper nearly every night (a combination I still love to this day). I’ll tell you now that I’m being modest in sharing the dietary changes I embraced. As you can imagine, my body started to change. I’m not one to ever stress over a little extra love on my body. I’ve always been incredibly confident even when it hasn’t looked like anything special.
The first year, no problem. The second year, eh. The third, fourth, fifth year, well… let’s just say that somewhere along the way, I stopped wearing my wedding ring. It became itchy and uncomfortable at night from the increasing weight gain. I can’t tell you how long it took for me to realize it was weight gain causing it. All I know is one night I took it off to sleep better and I never put it back on.
Usually when my wedding ring comes up, people think that I am intentionally being mysterious, wrong for not forcing my now much bigger finger into a ring from five years ago, wronging my husband or simply attempting to attract attention from other men. Not so! Y’all, I just cant get my finger in that tiny everyday-gym-going ring anymore. I shared the truth with Ike at some point this year and he casually said, “that’s okay babe” and we never discussed it again.
That’s why when I opened this years Christmas gift and found a beautiful new gold band staring at me, I nearly lost myself. Part of me was nervous. “Will this one fit?” It fit perfectly. I don’t know how he did it but it fit perfectly. My heart melted. I know a ring is just a symbol but for me, this second ring is acceptance. Never once did Ike ask me why I wasn’t wearing my wedding ring or when I’d get back in the gym. He bought me a new one with where I am today. No matter how my weight fluctuates in the future, this second will always represent something different than the first.
